Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
