Your tits are I can't wait for
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
