I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Randomize
