He felt like a one man threesome
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
