I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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