it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
