I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
