I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
