Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
