so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
