fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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