Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
