we have officially lost it.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
