Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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