Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
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