Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize