Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize