Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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