so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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