I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
