The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
