yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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