he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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