Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
