please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
