Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
