Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
