now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize
