i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
