Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
