true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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