used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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