it hurts more in the daytime
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize