some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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