I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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