how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize