I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
