Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
