shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
