I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
