My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
