we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
