I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
