He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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