So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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