Don't you send me to vm
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize