Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
