I am full of burrito and curiosity
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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