the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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