Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
