I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
