i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
