Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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