I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
