honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
