it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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