K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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