She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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