Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I would ride that face into the sunset
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
