the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
