Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
