A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize