the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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