The brown eye won't let me do that either.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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